Psalm 22: A Cry of Anguish and a Song of Praise

The tragedy is that we stop longing for things that are ordinary. We are so caught up in our distracting life that we forget that below and behind, there's a sea of little moments, lonely seconds that can add to and make joyous days...

And then comes your birthday. The 22nd! And suddenly you realize man, the there goes another year. And there's lesser to time to live.

So...22 years, eh! And quite a day today! The students at our university suddenly woke up and started protesting for their 'rights'. Boycotted the classes. Condemned the administration. Because they had made life in medical college hell for them. (Yeah, right! Like it's not supposed to be so!) I guess it has become a fad now. Hopping on to the bandwagon. Hy Hy! Slogans! Bam Bam! Boycotts! Daikho daikho kon aya! You join us or face the consequences! Qadam barhaow! Unity! Aye Mard e Mujahid Jaag zara! Democracy! Pakistan ka matlub kya... We want justice, we want justice! OK fine, we have to register a protest but at the expense of our education and time? (AND ON MY FREAKING BIRTHDAY??!!!)
Really? How radical is that? And threatening the admin to reverse your failure in exams? What kind of doctors would such manipulators become...errr...


So. 22yrs! I was telling Awais that day. I would like to die on my birthday. It would seem like a grand gesture, you see. A complete circle. Just like Ingrid Bergman from Casablanca. And guess what. I was having lunch in this ridiculously expensive place on M.M.Alam Road and someone tries to ruin the Jalapeno Chicken by texting me "there's a threat of a Bomb Blast today in Gulgerg. Stay away etc etc." And I thought well, if I die right now the person who I like the most in this world would die WITH me and we'd go to hell, not alone (We were having lunch together). And we probably won't have to pay the bill. But my mother would be so angry I died without telling her. And my father would be so pissed off I died while he was abroad. See, I would be missed. So yeah, I hoped I won't die today.

My daadi ma isn't well. Alzheimer's. Full blown. When she is there but just isn't around anymore. She's lost so much of herself, she's just a blank paper. I never had a lovey-dovey relationship with her. There was a phase when I actually stopped meeting her, talking to her. And how badly I repent that today. For it pains me what passing years can do to you. And why you have to be grateful for what you have and what you are today. Who can tell what would come our way. Who knows what we'll lose. Or who we'll lose.